david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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