yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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