okay pat passed out under dana's car
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
