Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
you never un-have a 4some
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
