so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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