I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize