i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
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