how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize