ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
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It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
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Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
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