Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
