Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
