I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
