I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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