you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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