No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
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