i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
