So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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