No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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