Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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