oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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