So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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