people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
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