You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
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