Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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