If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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