Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
