i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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