I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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