Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize