new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
