Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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