I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
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It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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