mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
