4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize