apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
