Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
