Can Purell be used as lube?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
