This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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