Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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