I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
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is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
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I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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