you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
