Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
