I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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