and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
