your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
