i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
