Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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