This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize