she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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