you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
