Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
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If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
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When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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