what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
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The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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