thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Randomize
