Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize