Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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