I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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