Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
