she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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