Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
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You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.