Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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