who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
